Every once in a while we like to go out without the entire clan being there. I love my brothers, but its hard to keep up with their charm, wit and general insight.
Last Saturday we went to an upscale legendary Greenville steakhouse. The kind of place that doesn’t hire teenagers, and puts more focus on the quality of the food than the number of pieces of “Flair” the servers wear.
We were seated and to my right was a table with 5 adults and 3, count’em three kids ranging from 6 months to 3 years. As soon as we sat down the toddler began this blood curdling scream for no apparent reason. I say “apparent” because on the surface everything seemed fine. He wasn’t on fire, no signs of open wounds, or a menacing dogs. As usual I was wrong. There was a reason for the ear splitting noise. One of the “adults” was freaking the kid out…and every time the wailing began, this human hemorrhoid laughed out loud. He thought it was hilarious. 
Now, it has been my experience that when one child begins to get hysterical, it’s as contagious as watching someone yawn. The other kids feel compelled to chime in.
So there we are, looking forward to a nice steak, adult conversation, having to compete with three screaming kids and 2 cackling adults.
The “better half” was nervous I was going to stab that guy in the throat, and the smart money would have been on that. The kids calmed down after one of the real grownups told that A-hole to stop getting the baby upset.
I told all of that…to tell you this. The wife thinks restaurants should have “kid free” zones, or not allow kids at all. 
When you go to McDonalds you expect kids.
When you go to Chucky-Cheese, you expect kids.
When go to a steakhouse and plan to drop $50 a head on a meal…you do NOT expect KIDS.
Its not that I don’t like kids, I just don’t want them, or anyone else screaming in my ear at dinner.
So there.
I feel better.
How bout you?
